For those days we felt like a mistake

I remember writing when I was sad. I would let every thought of mine pour out onto the keyboard and wash away. It made me feel safe, knowing that a stranger may see my words, feel my emotions, and I would feel safe in knowing that I was not alone.

I became happy for a while, but all good things must come to an end.

And now here I am again, pouring my thoughts out. Although my scenery is different, the feelings are still there. I wish you were around. I wish you weren’t. I wish you were different. I wish you had stayed the same.

I keep feeling as if I’ll never find someone who understands me. I can’t even begin to compare my knight in shining armor to anyone in particular because as each day passes I don’t believe I’ve ever truly been in love. There is only one man on this earth who has truly broken my heart, and it was not a silly boy or a dumb boyfriend. No one will ever be able to heal me of this and prove to me that all guys aren’t the same. The one who was supposed to be there through all of the heartbreak is the one that broke me. 

It’s not even like I need a Prince Charming or someone to turn everything around. I am fine on my own. 

I have a hole in my heart, and I’m not sure if it can ever be filled.

And if somehow it is, it will never ever be the same.