I know what kind of person you are. I finally have figured it out.
I just read your blog back to when we broke up, and couldn’t read it any more after reading this:
“If you ever change your mind just know, ill always be here.”
Here I am, but where are you? You seem to have forgotten. Remember talking that one day, ditching school because we were too wrapped up in each other, listening to Phoenix while laying on my bed? I remember telling you I couldn’t kiss you anymore, that I needed time because I was hurt. You leaned over and whispered, Do you know what this song is called? Girlfriend.
I’m done. I won’t sit here and be an option for you. I’m ready to start over, build from the ground up, but you are much more interested in something exciting, something about instant gratification. Your other choice, the girl in the lead, is everything I want to be. She’s better than I am. Take her. I’m pulling myself from the race. I no longer want to be an option for you. I wanted to be your first choice. But I suppose the wounds have scarred and healed and you no longer want to rip them open like you were once willing.
Reading your blog, that feeling of wanting me didn’t last long. The second another girl caught even the smallest bit of your interest, thoughts of me went down the drain. So it happened with the next girl and the next. You chase love, you chase instant relationship, instant gratification, and I refuse to give that to you any more.
I hope we can figure out this summer, because this seems to pose a problem.
All I can do is wait and hope.
But I am no longer waiting and hoping for you. I’m gone.